sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
