I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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