new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
