ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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