You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
