did you get engaged???
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
