WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
