Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
