its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
