The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
