yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
