I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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