you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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