remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize