Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She bit a glass in half.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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