just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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