Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
