Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
