My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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