So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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