I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
