My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize