And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
