I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
