I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
When did angry sex become our thing?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
