Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
