i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
