my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
