Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
