tell your sister to shave her snatch
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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