She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
