I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize