Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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