spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize