my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
