Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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