I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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