he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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