I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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