so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
