I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
