hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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