why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize