so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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