So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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