At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
