i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
