Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
