Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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