I need help removing her.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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