One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
