I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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