wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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