You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
