I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
