This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is it because I queefed?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
