but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
