so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I need water and some morals
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
