we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
