Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
